Have you ever been expressionless with sorrow?

When he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich. Luke 18:23

I can totally relate to what Chambers said today in his devotional.  I really get it and have experienced it first hand. The stinging repercussions of my stubborn disobedience left me reeling for years.

Here's what Chambers said:
Have you ever been there? Has God’s Word come to you about something you are very rich in-temperament, personal affinity, relationships of the heart and mind?  Then you have been expressionless with sorrow. The Lord will not go after you, He will not plead, but every time He meets you on that point, He will simply repeat-if you mean what you say, these are the conditions. "Sell all that thou hasts" (Luke 18:22)

I can think of a time when I was a young woman and God tried to get my attention...he whispered to me in that still small voice that I needed to turn from a certain idolatry in my life.  I heard the whisper, but wouldn't listen. I was the rich young ruler...unable to sell all that I had and follow Jesus whole-heartedly.  The funny thing is, up until now I never could really relate to the rich young ruler. Afterall, I never was rich.  Or was I?  The truth is, many of us are rich in something.  I was rich in my love for a young man that I was head over heels in love with.  God told me that it was idolatry and that I needed to turn from it.  I wouldn't.  I claimed to be a follower of Jesus, and yet I turned away from what He said to me with an "expression of sorrow"-just as the rich young ruler had.  My story actually has a happy ending, although I did not consider it to be a happy ending at the time.  When I was a sophomore in college, I rededicated my life to the Lord and told Him to do anything it took to make me the woman of God that He wanted me to be.  So, in a sense, I gave God permission to remove this young man from my life...and He did. It was, without contest, the single-most painful thing that I ever went through.

Am I the woman God wants me to be?  I doubt it.  I am too sinful, too worldy...too selfish.  I have a long way to go.  I am rich in things today too.  I am rich in my desire to be comfortable-in a nice house without any trouble. I am rich in my trust in material goods and in $. I am rich in thinking that I am entitled to better things in my life.  Am I still turning away "expressionless with sorrow?" How do I surrender it? I am afraid of the pain that may follow. So was the rich young ruler. 

More quotes from Chambers to ponder:
That is where the battle is truly fought— in the realm of your will before God..

Beware of allowing anything to soften the hard words of Jesus Christ..

Discouragement is disillusioned self-love.

"Lord God, I do not want to be rich in this way. Please take it away. Help me to only be rich in you-Amen"

Photo by Geoffery Bard via wikimedia commons.