If you haven't done so already, use the link to the right and go read the devotional yourself! It is speaking to the very heart of where I am today. Can I trust the Lord for everything in my life? Can I trust him to provide for my needs and to guide and direct my steps? It is a very difficult thing to do on a daily basis. Especially when nothing seems to be working out! My stars never seem to line up. Sometimes I honestly feel like hollering out to God, "Are you up there? Do you see me? Do you hear me?" He's the still small voice...that I keep missing...that I can't hear.
Chambers describes exactly how I feel:
Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, “I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ ” the testing of my faith begins (Philippians 4:19). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?
Today I read some other pretty serious stuff in this month's Voice of the Martyrs publication. Descriptions of believers being beaten and thrown into prison for months or even years...all because they follow Jesus. What I am going through in my life can hardly be considered suffering when I read these things. If God would allow that to happen to a Christian, why would he care about whether or not I have a job...or enough money to pay the bills? Do I really believe the Lord will take care of me?
Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, “It’s all a lie”? When you are on the mountaintop, it’s easy to say, “Oh yes, I believe God can do it,” but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (Luke 9:28-42).
This week summer ends for me. My job ends...and then I am faced with an uncertain school year...more of the same...with no end in sight. I just feel so discouraged.
Photo: I took this. I don't know when or where it was taken...it just seems fitting somehow. An unknown road going to an unknown destination...and it is winter.
I am also facing a school year of uncertainty. The budget never balances on paper, but we never go hungry, and somehow the house payment gets taken care of. God has a way of providing for His own in ways we just can't see. After almost 20 years of self employment, I've learned my fretting only produces lost sleep and headaches. (Not that I've been sleeping too well...)
ReplyDeleteAt least you know where you will be working...and your coworkers love you.
DeleteI suppose. :)
ReplyDeleteNote on the photo source. The funny thing is is that when I retread this post a year and a half later I knew immediately where that phot was taken. It is on South Hill Road in Middlesex, NY.
ReplyDelete